Facebook Status Updates

Dis Kitty, Mariachi Whale, and TERRIBLE Tuesday Status Updates.

Editorial Team

511

Make someone smile, share these…

TERRIBLE Tuesday Status Updates:

No matter how you feel. Get up, dress up, show up and never give up!
At least thirty percent of my workout is spent picking a different song.
I wish I could burn calories as easily as I burn bridges.
Forgotten pocket money is the best!
How’s your day going? Here’s a good way to tell: Is it “already” 2:00pm or “only” 2:00pm?
True friends are always there for you. Fake friends only appear when they want something from you.
The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock at 6am is the fact that it’s my cellphone.
Anything required of me today besides laying here in bed will just have to wait till tomorrow.
Officer I know I ran that red light but it’s okay I’ll just stop twice at the next one. Are we cool?
If you give up smoking, drinking, and sex, you don’t live longer, just seems longer.
Download this software? Do you Agree? Are you sure? Well, the more times you ask me if I’m sure the less sure I am.
What’s it called when you can’t think of what something is called?
It’s funny how the change jar slowly becomes all pennies.
“100 Calorie Packs” roughly translated means “Eat Two or Three of These”
I always pre-regret eating fast food.
I learn from the mistakes of others who have taken my advice.
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying free samples at the grocery store. Just make sure they’re samples. And free. And it’s a grocery store.
The thing about social media is that you can pretend you’ve gone to bed by not replying but really you’re just sitting there the whole time.
If I haven’t done something you asked me to do and I say it’s because life has “been crazy”, it really means I’ve just been lazy.
I’m tired of chasing my dreams, I`m just going to ask them where their going and meet them there later.