Get through Hump Day, share these…. Absurd Facebook Status Updates: If I hit snooze 3 times it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I’ll be out sick. My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks. I like to run in front of people approaching automatic doors and shout, […]
Facebook Status Updates
Dancing Oldman, Happy Ass, and 20 Entertaining Facebook Statuses
Score more likes, share these… 20 Entertaining Facebook Statuses: Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes. Small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings. Asking me if I’m hungry, is like asking me if I like money. If guys were smart, they’d forget the nightclubs and watch the supermarket for girls […]
Metal Construction, Puppy Push, and Brilliant Status Updates
Brighten Up Your Monday, Share These… 20 Brilliant Facebook Status Updates: First world problems: I couldn’t hear the TV so I had to stop eating chips. If my life was a GPS it would constantly be recalculating. Hey guys if you’re looking to test out a nasty computer virus or some horrible spyware, my mom […]
Forehead Beer Pour, Tan Lines, and Entertaining Status Updates for the Weekend.
Make your weekend last longer, share these… Entertaining Status Updates for the Weekend: The most powerful I ever feel is waving pedestrians to walk in front of my car. “Go forth, and trust that I will not kill you.” Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed. And it was great. Me and […]
Dancing Kid, Tacos, and Thoughtful Status Updates
Make someones day, share one of these… Thoughtful Facebook Status Updates: I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is. That moment when you finish a book, look around, and realize that everyone is just carrying on with their lives… As though you didn’t just experience emotional trauma […]
Motorcycle Head, Mission Impossible Mouse, and 21 Priceless Facebook Status Updates
Make hump day count, share one of these guys… Priceless Facebook Status Updates: Jurassic Park was a cautionary tale about the dangers of underpaying IT workers Although tequila is highly toxic, it can be used to dissolve the friend zone. If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event […]