Make someones day, share one of these…
Thoughtful Facebook Status Updates:
- I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is.
- That moment when you finish a book, look around, and realize that everyone is just carrying on with their lives… As though you didn’t just experience emotional trauma at the hands of a paperback.
- Lobsters are mermaids to scorpions.
- Your stomach thinks all potato is mashed.
- I wonder if there are any times on the clock that I have never seen.
- The sinking of the Titanic must have been a miracle to the lobsters in the kitchen.
- Just another day of not being rich and famous.
- When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.
- I didn’t exist in your world until you started reading this sentence of mine.
- If your shirt isn’t tucked into your pants, then your pants are tucked into your shirt.
- Childbirth is a literal emergency.
- A mullet will make you a redneck but also prevent you from getting one.
- We will never hear about the truly perfect crime, and that saddens me.
- The word “Fat” just looks like someone took a bite out of the word “Eat.”
- If you aren’t enjoying the path to your destination, reroute. Life is hard enough. Enjoy the ride.
- The only time the word incorrectly isn’t spelled incorrectly is when it’s spelled incorrectly.
- Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens.
- When you say the word “crisp,” it moves from the back of your mouth to the front as you say it.
- Reaching under the couch for something is the closest I’ll ever get to yoga.
- Why do we “bake” cookies but “cook” bacon? Real eyes realize real lies.
Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.