Get over hump day, share one of these.. 20 Silly Status Updates: Home. Where I can look ugly and enjoy it. Unless you tripped and smacked your face on the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout. I’ve got 99 problems and my inability to self motivate is causing every single one of […]
Facebook Status Updates
Checking Voicemail, Instant Karma, & 20 Laughable Facebook Statuses
Make someones day, share one of these… 20 Laughable Facebook Statuses: My idea of flirting is being as sarcastic as humanly possible and seeing if you can handle it. Coffee before talkie. I couldn’t be fake about anything if I tried. My facial expressions would never allow it. I owed blockbuster late fees. My game […]
Bribing Gravity, Ambulances, & 20 Hilarious Facebook Status Updates
Make Monday fun for someone, share one of these.. 20 Hilarious Facebook Status Updates: I’m the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me, just remember: I know how to hide a dead body. You had me at hello…oh you weren’t talking to me. Oxford Dictionary in […]
Speed Reload, Texting Tone, & Top 20 Weekend Status Updates
Make your weekend last longer, share one of these.. The Top 20 Weekend Status Updates: What’s my type? Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I’m describing my bed again. Taking shots of Tequila is just another way of saying, “I like where I […]
Life’s Too Short, Hypnotize, & 20 Classic Facebook Statuses
Make someones day, share one of these… 20 Classic Facebook Statuses: Just bought $200 worth of groceries. Ordered pizza because I’m exhausted after buying all the groceries. *forgets what I’m talking about halfway through a sentence* Before coffee: Hates nearly everybody. After coffee: feels better about hating everybody. I never realize how much I swear until […]
Fridge Food, Fetch the Cat, and Clever Status Posts
Score more likes, share one of these.. 20 Clever Facebook Status Posts: I’m only as strong as the coffee I drink. Be the person your dog thinks you are. How do people rap?? I can’t even talk without messing it up. I say idk a lot, but trust me I be knowin’ “Doing fine. Here’s […]