Get more Facebook likes, share these… Epic Status Updates for FB: “Do you want to hear the specials?” “No, but I’ll stare and nod for a minute before proceeding with my order.” Treat your woman like you treat your smartphone: touch her often, stare at her, and make her the most important thing in your […]
Facebook Status Updates
Obi-Cat, Giant Puddle, & Clever FB Statuses
Step your Status game up, use these… 20 Clever Facebook Statuses: I wish some people were as pretty on the inside as they presume they are on the outside. Beer: The WD40 for conversations. ❒ Single. ❒ Taken. ✔ Who gives a shit, I’m awesome. Friends are like shoes. We look for good-looking ones. But […]
Bear Grylls, Baby Polar Bear, and Witty Status Updates
Score more likes, share some… Witty Facebook Status Updates: If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s some millionaire walking around who invented the Pool Noodle. Of course everyone deserves a 2nd chance, but I gave yours to someone else. Wow, I thought “flash mob” meant something completely different. Can someone come […]
Hungry Kittens, Floating, & Funny Facebook Statuses
More likes per share, use these… Funny Facebook Status Updates: If cinderella’s shoe really did fit perfectly, then why exactly did it fall off in the first place? You know it’s real love when one of you leaves the room and the other one pauses the movie without being asked. That awkward moment when you’re […]
Shaq’s Revenge, Corgi Love, & Status Updates that get LIKES.
Step your Facebook game up, share these… Status Updates that get LIKES: Enjoy the little things in life, because one day, you’ll look back and realize that they were actually big things. I’d rather have the girl from The Ring pop out of my TV than have that stupid “Congratulations you’ve won” voice ever scare […]
Cape Town, Wild Cows, & Pro Status Updates
Statuses everyone can use, try these: Pro Status Updates That Make You Think: I looked out the window & watched a dog chase his tail for 10 minutes & thought WOW dogs are so easily entertained. I then realized I just watched a dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. They should make an award […]