Choose one that fits you, share these… 20 of the Best Statuses on Facebook: Do I turn left, when nothing is right? Or do I turn right, when there’s nothing left? Seeing a spider is nothing. It becomes a problem when it disappears. You know what’s really great about being a narcissist? Me. If your […]
Spiderman IRL, Samuel L Barkson, & Top Status Updates
This week on FB… Top 20 Facebook Status Updates: The worst time to hear I told you so is when you end up saying it to yourself. Think before you speak… and keep it simple. Nobody wants to hear your life story. At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust […]
Optical Illusion Flooring, Snoring Dog, and EPIC Status Posts
Get more Facebook likes, share these… Epic Status Updates for FB: “Do you want to hear the specials?” “No, but I’ll stare and nod for a minute before proceeding with my order.” Treat your woman like you treat your smartphone: touch her often, stare at her, and make her the most important thing in your […]
Obi-Cat, Giant Puddle, & Clever FB Statuses
Step your Status game up, use these… 20 Clever Facebook Statuses: I wish some people were as pretty on the inside as they presume they are on the outside. Beer: The WD40 for conversations. ❒ Single. ❒ Taken. ✔ Who gives a shit, I’m awesome. Friends are like shoes. We look for good-looking ones. But […]
Bear Grylls, Baby Polar Bear, and Witty Status Updates
Score more likes, share some… Witty Facebook Status Updates: If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s some millionaire walking around who invented the Pool Noodle. Of course everyone deserves a 2nd chance, but I gave yours to someone else. Wow, I thought “flash mob” meant something completely different. Can someone come […]
Hungry Kittens, Floating, & Funny Facebook Statuses
More likes per share, use these… Funny Facebook Status Updates: If cinderella’s shoe really did fit perfectly, then why exactly did it fall off in the first place? You know it’s real love when one of you leaves the room and the other one pauses the movie without being asked. That awkward moment when you’re […]