Score more likes, share these… Status Board: DO NOT TEXT ME WHILE YOU’RE DRIVING I’m not trying to be the last unfinished message they find when your ass is wrapped around a tree. Be wary of someone who calls all their exes crazy. They’re probably the reason. I’m forever stuck between wanting to discover loads […]
Salty Clam, Silly Seal, and Status Quo
Pick a status that fits you… Status Quo Statuses: When I think of clean, I rarely think of whistles. More and more children are reaching the age of three before they learn how to talk. Even weirder, their first words are usually “dude, just text me.” Dear tongue, Can’t touch this. Sincerely, elbow. LIKE if […]
Hidden Panda, Dog vs. Helicopter, & Rad Status Updates
Get more likes with every post, share these… Rad Facebook Status Updates: When I’m alone in my house, every sound is a ghost. I just read last year 4,153,237 ppl got married. I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number? After 11, please stop counting in months how old […]
Rottweiler Savior, Mesmerized KittEh, and Awesome Statuses
Score more likes, share these… Awesome Facebook Statuses: Reading texts while half asleep is like looking into the sun. That awkward moment when your walking down the stairs and think theres another step and you hulk stomp the ground. If my best friend hates you then I automatically hate you. “I didn’t get your text.” […]
Please KittEhh, Crane Climber, and Cool Status Updates
Take your pick, get more likes, share these… Cool Facebook Status Updates Taco Bell has so many festive names for the same three ingredients. If a guy messes up, there is nothing he can say to fix the issue. If a girl messes up, the guy somehow messed up too and she plays victim. You […]
EPIC Guitarist, Speeding Ticket, & Best Statuses Ever
This week on FB… Best Facebook Statuses: One of the most exciting things about life is not knowing what’s next. Every time I put my iPod on “shuffle”, I realized I hate half the music I have on it. Today is one of those “yeah, I’m not getting anything done” kind of days. The ocean […]