Pick a status that fits you…
Status Quo Statuses:
- When I think of clean, I rarely think of whistles.
- More and more children are reaching the age of three before they learn how to talk. Even weirder, their first words are usually “dude, just text me.”
- Dear tongue, Can’t touch this. Sincerely, elbow. LIKE if you tried.
- Crying doesn’t indicate that you’re weak. Since birth, it has been a sign that you’re alive.
- Everyone can make you smile, but not everyone can make you happy.
- I wish karma would send me email notifications.
- I don’t even need to insult you. Your face speaks for itself.
- I am not desperate because I am single. I am single because I am not desperate.
- “ok” and “okay” sound different in my head.
- Mephobia… Fear of becoming so awesome that the human race can’t handle it and everybody dies.
- Facebook doesn’t need a “dislike button” if no one liked your post then it’s pretty evident they disliked it, in a nice way.
- The universe gives you two for flinching.
- Danger is my middle name, but the D is silent.
- It’s so crazy how you can go months without talking to someone but they still cross your mind every day.
- I want kids but I dont wanna be pregnant or give birth but I dont wanna adopt either because I want them to be mine.. do you see my problem?
- “You’re so hot” I whispered as I took my plate of food out of the microwave.
- That awesome moment when you carry an entire load of laundry to the bedroom without dropping a single sock.
- Let me get this straight…a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, ripping all the hair out…and still be afraid of a spider?
- Even when I’m not doing anything illegal, I always get nervous when a cop is driving behind me.
- Forgetting you have sunglasses when you’re hungover is like forgetting about your gun in war.
Seal Picture Sez it All:
That picture is meant for your friends walls.
Clam Licks Salt:
Pretty interesting, ya? Share it with your friends if you enjoyed.