Step your status game up, share these… Great Facebook Status Updates: Miley can’t stop, won’t stop, but needs to stop. Justin Timberlake should’ve won an award for the only person to make it out of Disney without a drug problem. Kanye should’ve interrupted Miley’s performance to say that Beyonce’s ass would look better in those […]
SpongeBob, KittEh Wink, and Monday Statuses
Score easy likes, share these… Status Updates for Monday: Life is short. Play with your dog. My favorite thing to do is nothing. I’m amazing at winning fake arguments in my head. Evidently the purpose of my existence is to prove an awkward moment can last for an entire lifetime. Live life to express, not […]
Fashionable Pup, Mimic Howling, and Status Updates for the Weekend
Extend your weekend, share these… Facebook Status Updates for the Weekend: Ben Affleck to play Batman in the new movie. Which can only mean one thing… Matt Damon as Robin. Great Achievements Involve Great Risk. May your life be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook. Dear girls, If a guy pauses a […]
Lizard Belly Rub, Sleeping Shoebox, and Best Status Updates
Take your pick, and score more likes… The Weeks Best Facebook Status Updates: Sleep feels the way Pizza tastes. If all grownups had to take naps, the world would be a much nicer place. Sorry, I can’t today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandfather’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and yes, it was tragic. It’s been […]
Dog Bath Trick, Largest Liger, & Status Laughs
Score more likes, share these… Laughable Facebook Status Updates: That awkward moment when you’re checking yourself out in the window of a car and then realize there’s someone inside. I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I’m better than you, but I feel really bad about it. I get my: Cereal […]
Funny Noise Cat, That Moment When, and Top 20 Facebook Statuses
This week on FB… Top 20 Facebook Status Updates: Respect is like a paycheck, if you don’t earn it, you don’t deserve it. Thank you for informing me you have a stick figure family of 6… Your minivan had me under the impression you were wild & single. I will never understand the physics behind […]