Score more likes, share these… Like-Magnet Status Updates: When I tell stories about people I dislike, I give them ridiculous voices. I don’t care how the future pans out, any amazon delivery from now on is referred to as a drone strike. *Gets absolutely nothing done*… Welp time for a break. Don’t underestimate my ability […]
Fainting Squirrel, When You See It, and Clever Statuses.
One easy to get more likes, share these… 20 Clever Facebook Statuses: Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it. If those Amazon drones can really get to your house in 30 minutes then condoms are about to become their #1 selling item. I’d rather have my arms fall […]
Gator Catching, Santa Time, & Spunky Status Updates
Spruce your Status Up, Share these… Spunky Status Updates: That awkward moment when your Amazon delivery drone just hovers there, waiting for a tip. Finally in bed. No better time to start thinking about every possible thing that has or ever could happen. Sometimes I add things to my to-do list that I’ve already […]
Dancing Doggie, LifeHack, and Laughable Status Updates
Score more likes, share these… 20 Laughable Facebook Status Updates: I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous. My pants are 75% off. Why can’t things be simple like they use to be? I show you a […]
Raccoon Plays Harp, Dapper Doggie, and Hilarious Statuses
Make your weekend last longer, share these… Hilarious Statuses for Facebook: Thanksgiving: “Let’s give thanks for the shit we have.” Black Friday: “Ok, let’s get all new shit.” The first rule of Women’s fight club is don’t tell anyone what you’re mad about or why you’re fighting. Boobs are to men what laser pointers are […]
Thanksgiving Status Update Super Spectacular
Happy Turkey Day, Share These… Best Thanksgiving Day Statuses: Who does not thank for little, will not thank for much. Maybe this year the turkey should be pardoning Obama. The meal is not over when I’m full. The meal is over when I hate myself. You can’t please everyone, so you might as well just […]