Make someones Day… 12 Good Status Updates for Facebook: Please enjoy your day. Not mine. If halloween to new years isn’t your favorite time of the year we have a problem. Four drinks and I’m using curse words like commas. Eat like no one is watching. If you forget your hook-up’s name, just take them […]
Best Golf Shot Ever, Terrible Work Epidemic, and Good Time Status Updates
Pick something that fits and share it… Sharable Facebook Status Updates for a Good Time: My dream job would be the Karma delivery service. Whenever there’s an awkward silence, try whispering, “Did you forget your line?” Your cat thinks of you as a pet. Have you ever wondered what a job application at Hooters is like? […]
Cruel Mommy, Trucks, and Smart Status Updates
Make Tuesday fun, share one of these… Smart Facebook Status Updates: Only a fool trips on what’s behind him. Have you ever listened to somebody speak and wonder who ties their shoelaces for them? *cares more about TV show characters and their problems than my own* If there is a wrong place and a wrong […]
Touchdown Baby, Jarhead, and 20 Awesome Facebook Status Updates
Make Monday fun, share one of these… 20 Awesome Facebook Status Updates: I used to be able to sleep for 4 hours, wake up, and function normally. No problem. Now I need 10 hours of sleep just to feel alive. *gets absolutely nothing done* well time for a break You could give me 67 years […]
Rhino gets Kicked, Friendship, and 20 Funny Facebook Status Updates
Make your weekend last longer, share one of these… 20 Funny Facebook Status Updates: Sorry, I’m too poor, I can’t afford to pay attention. Here’s a joke about ebola, you probably won’t get it though. Life is so hard when you have twenty TV shows to watch. The first 80 years of adulthood are always the […]
Meow Back, Racing Fan, and 20 Great Facebook Status Updates
Make someones Thursday, share one of these… 20 Great Facebook Status Updates: NEW COMMANDMENT: Thou shalt not start Christmas advertising when it is still October. Shit’s spiraling out of control and I’m all like “wheeeee.” Your hair turns white when you get old for evolutionary reasons. Predators leave you alone if they think you’re a […]