Pick something that fits and share it…
Sharable Facebook Status Updates for a Good Time:
- My dream job would be the Karma delivery service.
- Whenever there’s an awkward silence, try whispering, “Did you forget your line?”
- Your cat thinks of you as a pet.
- Have you ever wondered what a job application at Hooters is like? Maybe they just give you a bra and say, “here, fill this out”.
- What do 95% of men do after an orgasm? Delete their browser history.
- Sargasm: the exhilarating feeling you get when the right person understands that you weren’t serious and appreciates your joke.
- I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children don’t know very much about children.
- Don’t look for someone who will solve all your problems. Look for someone who won’t let you face them alone.
- Although tequila is highly toxic, it can be used to dissolve the friend zone.
- If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
- On the bright side, it’s Friday Eve Eve Eve.
- Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don’t have a moon where I live.
- Dating Tip: Find a partner with a compatible phone charger.
- I wish I had the confidence of a male flight attendant.
- Hi, welcome to adulthood! You’ll be constantly tired except for right before you need to go to sleep.
- Cop: Been drinking tonight, ma’am? Me: No, I’m just dizzy b/c I’m having a heavy flow day. It’s really clotty and… Cop: You’re free to go.
- Some days you can’t play the music loud enough.
- I’d slap you but I’m pretty sure they would call it animal cruelty.
- It’s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
- Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
Best Golf Shot Ever…
That was phenomenal! The tap-in for birdie was too easy so he took the long road home 🙂 LOL – share if you enjoyed.
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