Ladies Amirite, Stupid Cat, and Good Status Updates for Facebook.

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Make someones Day…

Please enjoy your day. Not mine.
If halloween to new years isn’t your favorite time of the year we have a problem.
Four drinks and I’m using curse words like commas.
Eat like no one is watching.
If you forget your hook-up’s name, just take them to Starbuck’s in the morning.
I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn’t like a person.
How can I be expected to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count?
If you don’t have anything nice to say, say it louder.
Paper cuts: so small, but so evil.
If he texts you while he’s with his family, that means he really likes you. Or he just hates his family.
GF: Babe what are you doing?? BF: Nothing much, really tired just going to sleep now and you sweetheart ? GF: In the club standing right behind you.
Don’t act like you never waddled across the house to get a new roll of toilet paper with your pants around your ankles.