Make your weekend last longer, share one of these…
20 Funny Facebook Status Updates:
- Sorry, I’m too poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.
- Here’s a joke about ebola, you probably won’t get it though.
- Life is so hard when you have twenty TV shows to watch.
- The first 80 years of adulthood are always the toughest.
- Everything I like is expensive, illegal, or won’t text me back.
- Ways to tell a woman is mad at you:
1. She is silent.
2. She is yelling.
3. She acts different.
4. She acts the same.
5. She kills you.
- I sincerely do not want your opinion.
- There are no bad photos. That’s just how you look sometimes.
- The mascara wand hits your cheek as you’re finishing your makeup = Just go back to bed.
- It’s getting harder and harder to tell Dog the Bounty Hunter and his wife apart.
- Every Chrysler commercial should begin with them apologizing for the PT Cruiser.
- Making fun of dinosaurs to a paleontologist is a great way to get jurasskicked.
- Isn’t it weird that after 30,000 years of eating bread, everyone is gluten allergic now?
- 1. Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait
- How many bad decisions are you gonna make until I become one?
- In my defense your honor, he said prolly.
- To find your prince you need to kiss a few frogs not sleep with the whole pond.
- Can’t stop drinking about you.
- Never, ever ask a woman if she’s pregnant unless you see an actual baby being born. Even then, act surprised.
- I’m awkward when people compliment me. “Nice hair” “Thanks, I grew it myself”
Rhino Gets Kicked by His Buddy Giraffe…
I don’t know why but, I watched that way too many times. I feel like they’re best friends and rhino was teasing him just a bit too much.