Make someone smile, share one of these.. 20 Clever Status Updates: If age is just an attitude, I could use an attitude adjustment. It’s not you. It’s me finally realizing that you’re terrible. I have never been guilty of taking the smaller pizza slice. I wonder how many times we forgive someone just because we […]
Crazy Chimp Fight, Awkward Dodge, & 20 Witty Status Updates
Get over hump day, share one of these.. 20 Witty Status Updates: I’m in a long distance relationship. Sure, some people refer to it as a restraining order, but still. I really would love to see two mimes arguing. If a white girl falls in the forest and no one is around to omg, does […]
Kid Logic, Pope Pizza, & Top 20 Status Updates
From this week on Facebook.. Top 20 Status Updates: I thought I made up “the floor is lava.” It never occurred to me that every child knows what it is. Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket just remember that. If there are 1 billion people better than you at something, you’re still […]
Responsibility, Dog Escape, & 20 Gut Busting Status Updates
Make your way through Monday, share one of these.. 20 Gut Busting Facebook Status Updates: I’m 100% done with today and about 72% done with tomorrow. I never want to go to sleep less than I do at bed time. Figuring out that you’ll probably never figure it out is the first step of really […]
Spongebob Bass Pants, Batman, & Top 20 Weekend Status Posts
Make your weekend last longer.. Top 20 Weekend Status Posts: Don’t try calling me back after you miss my call. I make 3 calls a year. You blew it. I’m simultaneously the nicest and meanest person you’ll ever meet. Asking someone a question used to be a good way to start a conversation. Now that […]
Audacity, Bored on a Plane, & 20 Clever Facebook Statuses
It’s almost Friday, make someone smile share one of these.. 20 Clever Status Updates: I read, like, 2 articles about basketball, so I’m feeling super confident about my bracket. “You home?” -scariest text you can get Me: Treat yo self My Bank Account: DO NOT TREAT YO SELF There are plenty of fish in the […]