Fact: friends comments more on funny statuses…
20 Artful Facebook Statuses:
- I’m starting a fight club, but with naps instead. The first rule remains the same.
- You can save a lot of money by walking face-first into a spiderweb every morning instead of buying coffee.
- Having female friends is a lot like having a pet tiger. Fun in theory, but you’re always waiting for the day they turn on you.
- If you want me to leave your website in less than a second just have music automatically start playing.
- Everyone is beautiful in their own way, your way just happens to be in the dark.
- Hi I’m a spider & I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.
- I make sure I’m only with smart people when I walk through the streets of Manhattan just in case we wind up in the Cash Cab.
- I don’t do dishes. When I’m done eating, I smash plates on the floor and walk out of the dining room like a rockstar.
- Somewhere in a parallel universe, I hope there’s a giant dog with a tiny woman in its purse.
- Why is the media so negative? Instead of “Polar Bear Kills Alaskan Teen”, why not “Alaskan Teen Feeds Starving Polar Bear”?
- Politicians hate each other more than they love America.
- If you have to question whether or not your behavior is acceptable – it’s probably not.
- I wish I could have as much fun making money as I do spending it.
- You know your vacation sucks when you’re constantly writing updates about it on Facebook.
- I like how the package for cotton swabs says don’t put them in your ears and everyone in the world is thinking: “WTF else would I do with them?!”
- Today, at Starbucks, when the lady asked for my name, I told her “Voldemort”. When the guy called out the name for pick-up, he said, “VOL…uhhh…’He Who Must Not Be Named'”. EPIC WIN!
- If the machines rise at the same time the apes do, we are so screwed!
- Whenever a bird poops on my car I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my front porch just to let them know what I’m capable of!
- In successful relationships, no one wears the pants.
- “I know” – best response to someone telling you your fly is open
Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers
Gillette Razors are pretty darn good…
Very effective, indeed. Share this hilarious picture on your newsfeed for guaranteed likes.
Extremely Obedient Kitty:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guZ2H13dVy0[/youtube]
Who knew that Cats could be that obedient? Pretty impressive 🙂 Share!
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