From this week, on Facebook…
The Top 21 Facebook Status Updates:
- That awkward moment when you’re trapped in the corner of your shower because the cold water starts running.
- Nothing’s forever. Forever’s a lie. All we have is what’s between hello and goodbye.
- That feeling when you can’t fall asleep and you decide to stay up all night and then end up falling asleep 20 minutes before you have to be up.
- Remember ladies, the knight with the shiniest armour has done the least amount of brave or cool shit.
- Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.
- I blame movies for my high expectations in relationships.
- Even if women came with a set of instructions, men would toss them aside without reading them.
- I panic when someone tells me to act natural.
- Everybody says waking up at 5 in the morning to exercise makes you feel great but I think lying in bed for another 2 hours feels better.
- Honestly, I would prefer to look back at my life and say, “I can’t believe I did that!” Than instead of saying, “I wish I did that…”
- Everyone missed the annual ninja parade…again.
- That feeling you get when at the last minute you win the ebay auction item. Followed by that feeling of shit now I have to pay for it!
- They say you should follow your dreams. Well my dreams usually involve going back to bed.
- Almost choked to death on some broccoli but no way, I ain’t going out like that.
- I like clothing that has little hidden pockets.
- If Morgan Freeman was smart then he would record himself giving his eulogy.
- I just changed my voicemail greeting: Please hang up and text me.
- The best thing about the internet: It’s available to everyone. The worst thing about the internet: – It’s available to everyone.
- Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.
- Before you get married try walking with your partner through IKEA. If you don’t end up in an argument, you’re good to go.
- The awkward moment when a zombie is looking for brains and walks straight past you.
Rule #1. Cats don’t like baths.
That. Terrified. Look. I think most pet owners can sympathize with this little scaredy cat 🙂 Share along if you had a good laugh.
Birds @ Zoo Dance to Rap..
Haha, so ridiculous. Those crazy birds, you never know what they’re going to do next! Post to your newsfeed for instant funny comments and likes galore.