How Much Horse Power? So much horse power it doesn’t all fit under the hood 20 Funny Statuses: Why is it called “reading a book” and not paper view? I just saw a guy take a bite of Kit Kat bar without breaking it apart first! Sir, we live in a society with rules, please […]
20 Status Updates
No One Hides From The Boss, 20 Funny Statuses, Stephen Colbert “Who Am Me?”
No One Hides From The Boss Waldo better watch his back… 20 Funny Statuses: Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia. There’s a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday. I just changed my WiFi password to “blowmefirst.” I can’t wait for someone to ask me for it! […]
Fall Break, 20 Funny Statuses, Ordering At Restaurants
You Have Fall Break? Here, let me ruin that for you! 20 Funny Statuses: When I go running, I usually meet new people….. like paramedics. It’s ok, ghosts, no-one believes in me either. Wine doesn’t have many vitamins. That’s why you have to drink a lot of it. You should never lie through your teeth. […]
Bug Vacuum, 20 Funny Statuses, Ryan Reynolds Builds A Crib
Bug Vacuum Where have you been all of my life? 20 Funny Statuses: You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. Sometimes, not remembering may be better. Don’t play stupid with me… I’m better at it! Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% […]
Good News, 20 Statuses, Swiper No Swiping
Trying to make small talk.. 20 Funny Status: People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world. There’s no such thing as too old for Disney. Time for a box o’ wine and a crazy straw my life is falling apart faster than a nature valley granola bar I love it when […]
Nerds In The Yard, Statuses to Steal, & Supercats
My Pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard.. Never trade your Charizard.. 20 Funny Status Updates Worth Stealing: “Don’t make me regret this.” -things I think when accepting a friend request. Did some financial planning and it looks like I can retire at 62 and live comfortably for eleven minutes. Am I the only […]