How Much Horse Power?
So much horse power it doesn’t all fit under the hood
20 Funny Statuses:
- Why is it called “reading a book” and not paper view?
- I just saw a guy take a bite of Kit Kat bar without breaking it apart first! Sir, we live in a society with rules, please adhere to them.
- My “To Do” list today only had one entry: “Nothing”. And it took me all day to finish it!
- Someone invited me to their dog’s birthday party on Saturday. What a freak! I am NOT coming to your dog’s birthday party! Besides, my cat is getting married that weekend!
- My key to happiness is probably lost somewhere in the junk drawer.
- You’re telling me, a chicken fried this rice
- They don’t make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery.
- I don’t understand how people have to “get ready for bed”…I’m always ready for bed.
- If I ever sound inspirational, one of us is drunk.
- I didn’t give you the finger…you earned it.
- You know what I like about people? Their dogs.
- Things I use duct tape for, by percentage: Pranks: 35% Car repair: 35% Wrapping presents: 20% Medical emergencies: 10% Ducts: 0%
- Twitter is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.
- Apparently putting Alka-Seltzer in my mouth while getting baptized and pretending I’m being possessed by the devil is not funny.
- ‘Sugar’ is the only word in English that starts with ‘su’ and sounds like ‘sh’. I’m sure of it
- I just broke my record for most days lived.
- I know you’re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?
- Life is like a box of chocolates. Get your own and stay the hell out of mine.
- Running behind is my cardio.
- Hey Samsung and Apple, no need for commercials. We’ve all chosen sides.
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Google Cardboard-Virtual Reality
What a creative prank!
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