How Much Horse Power?, 20 Funny Statuses, Google Cardboard-Virtual Reality

FunnyStatus Team

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How Much Horse Power?

So much horse power it doesn’t all fit under the hood

20 Funny Statuses:

Why is it called “reading a book” and not paper view?
I just saw a guy take a bite of Kit Kat bar without breaking it apart first! Sir, we live in a society with rules, please adhere to them.
My “To Do” list today only had one entry: “Nothing”. And it took me all day to finish it!
Someone invited me to their dog’s birthday party on Saturday. What a freak! I am NOT coming to your dog’s birthday party! Besides, my cat is getting married that weekend!
My key to happiness is probably lost somewhere in the junk drawer.
You’re telling me, a chicken fried this rice
They don’t make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery.
I don’t understand how people have to “get ready for bed”…I’m always ready for bed.
If I ever sound inspirational, one of us is drunk.
I didn’t give you the finger…you earned it.
You know what I like about people? Their dogs.
Things I use duct tape for, by percentage: Pranks: 35% Car repair: 35% Wrapping presents: 20% Medical emergencies: 10% Ducts: 0%
Twitter is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.
Apparently putting Alka-Seltzer in my mouth while getting baptized and pretending I’m being possessed by the devil is not funny.
‘Sugar’ is the only word in English that starts with ‘su’ and sounds like ‘sh’. I’m sure of it
I just broke my record for most days lived.
I know you’re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?
Life is like a box of chocolates. Get your own and stay the hell out of mine.
Running behind is my cardio.
Hey Samsung and Apple, no need for commercials. We’ve all chosen sides.