Guaranteed one of these will make you laugh…
20 Awesome Facebook Statuses:
- When I die, before my will is read, I want my entire Google search history revealed and whoever is left in the room gets it all.
- I bet some of you would absolutely kill it in a race where you had to jump over obstacles while looking at your phone.
- There should be a mercy rule for how many pics a girl can upload from her vacation.
- I’m crazy but not “LeBron is better than Jordan” crazy.
- And then God said, “Seems unfair to have given man an extra limb so to balance it out I’ll give women the power over which to control it.”
- There comes a moment in time when a moment is all the time you will ever need.
- I had a dream that I was drowning in orange soda. Turned out it was just a Fanta Sea.
- The key to a long relationship: Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.
- I want to live in a world where it’s never too late for breakfast food and never too early for pizza.
- You can tell a true friend by whoever likes your selfies.
- There is no “we” in “food”.
- Pizza is always a good idea.
- Ok = mad
Okay = not mad
- I was at the pool today and tried to sneak a quick pee in the deep end. The lifeguard must have seen me. He blew his whistle so loud that I almost fell in.
- Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.
- If you’re my real friend, I’ll greet you with an insult.
- That awkward moment when you’re reading a book and have to reread the same paragraph over and over cause your thoughts are too distracting.
- Oh, you hate your job? There’s a support group for that. It’s called “Everybody”, and we meet at the bar.
- When someone says to me great minds think alike, I just look at them and think “you dirty bastard”.
- “you look tired” is the politically correct way of saying “you look like shit”
Awesome Seal Kicks It With Surfers…
Surfer: You’re one cool dude, dude.
Seal: Thanks bro, I like your style.
We’re so stupid that we give away our iPhone App. Yup, it’s completely free, you’re welcome.