Surfing Seal, Weird Conversations, and Awesome Facebook Statuses

Guaranteed one of these will make you laugh…

20 Awesome Facebook Statuses:

1. When I die, before my will is read, I want my entire Google search history revealed and whoever is left in the room gets it all.
2. I bet some of you would absolutely kill it in a race where you had to jump over obstacles while looking at your phone.
3. There should be a mercy rule for how many pics a girl can upload from her vacation.
4. I’m crazy but not “LeBron is better than Jordan” crazy.
5. And then God said, “Seems unfair to have given man an extra limb so to balance it out I’ll give women the power over which to control it.”
6. There comes a moment in time when a moment is all the time you will ever need.
7. I had a dream that I was drowning in orange soda. Turned out it was just a Fanta Sea.
8. The key to a long relationship: Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.
9. I want to live in a world where it’s never too late for breakfast food and never too early for pizza.
10. You can tell a true friend by whoever likes your selfies.
11. There is no “we” in “food”.
12. Pizza is always a good idea.
13. Ok = mad
    Okay = not mad
14. I was at the pool today and tried to sneak a quick pee in the deep end. The lifeguard must have seen me. He blew his whistle so loud that I almost fell in.
15. Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.
16. If you’re my real friend, I’ll greet you with an insult.
17. That awkward moment when you’re reading a book and have to reread the same paragraph over and over cause your thoughts are too distracting.
18. Oh, you hate your job? There’s a support group for that. It’s called “Everybody”, and we meet at the bar.
19. When someone says to me great minds think alike, I just look at them and think “you dirty bastard”.
20. “you look tired” is the politically correct way of saying “you look like shit”

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Awesome Seal Kicks It With Surfers…

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97McCuWAynA[/youtube]

Surfer: You’re one cool dude, dude.

Seal: Thanks bro, I like your style.