Peeling Apples, Silence, and Clever Facebook Status Posts

Make your weekend last longer, share these…

20 Clever Facebook Status Posts:

  1. I’m exhausted just thinking of everything I have to do.
  2. You’re kind of a bitch and I like it.
  3. It’s not that I don’t care what you’re saying; I was just thinking about food.
  4. I hope I never have to run for my life. It wouldn’t end well.
  5. If thought bubbles appeared over our heads, I would get punched in the face a lot more.
  6. “I heard” = false information
  7. What I lack in good decisions, I make up for in inappropriate behavior.
  8. You look like drama and a headache. Stay away.
  9. Don’t text me when you can see I’m in the middle of texting you. Now I have to change my text.
  10. I silently mouth “what the f**k” at least 20 times a day.
  11. All I know is that one of us is right and the other one is you.
  12. I spend money as if I’ve already married rich.
  13. If your computer freezes, just spaztically click everywhere. That should do the trick.
  14. Sorry for what I said before I had my coffee.
  15. I hate it when ugly peope say “I need my beauty sleep.” LOL NOPE, you need to hibernate.”
  16. Dude shit’s messed up with Syria.” “Yeah. I hope she performs better in iPhone 6.” I have stupid, really stupid friends.
  17. Happy 1st day of your diet! Love, brownies.
  18. When you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
  19. The most obnoxious human beings are teenage boys and girls trying to impress each other.
  20. The more you know, the less you need to say.

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How to Super Peel Apples…

That’s very impressive. Next time I have to peel 50 Apples, I’ll remember that.

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