Paint Mess, Family Gatherings, & 20 Really Funny Status Updates

Editorial Team

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Make someones day, share one of these…

20 Really Funny Status Updates:

That awkward moment when someone takes your joke way too seriously.
You just don’t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.
Imagine being so rich you put more than 1/4 tank of gas in your car at a time.
Hand sanitizer: the cut finder.
Adults complaining about the younger generation are really just saying their generation did a shitty job raising their kids.
Tis the season to throw your diet out the window.
Don’t give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping.
How is it possible that we have one hand that can do everything while the other hand is all, “I can’t even hold a pencil”?
Driving isn’t even in the top 5 things I’m thinking about when I’m driving.
I saw a man with a board saying ‘Repent for you’re sin’s, the end of the world is nigh’. I thought ‘That’s a bad sign’.
The faster I type in my password, the more secret agent-y I feel.
The awkward moment when the only thing you know on your test is your name.
How can society expect me to be a mature productive member of it?? I don’t even know if it’s spelled gray or grey!
As we get closer and closer to the end of this sentence, I think it’s important that we lower our expectations.
One of the most expensive things you’ll ever do is pay attention to the wrong person.
Eating a gas station hot dog counts as a suicide attempt.
It’s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
I need more people like me in my life!
Ask your doctor if walking blindly into traffic is right for you.
Never forget that at the end of the game, the king and the pawn go back in the same box to sleep side by side.