Get over hump day, share one of these..
20 Hilarious Statuses:
- Didn’t Selfie Sticks used to be called Friends?
- No need to dwell on your past mistakes. You’re going to make worse.
- I’m sick of pretending to be pleasant.
- I could use a puppy right about now.
- Beauty fades but sarcasm is forever.
- The best thing about being a narcissist must be not knowing you are a narcissistic.
- My right thumb is in the best shape of my life.
- I just looked directly at my phone and thought “where’s my phone?” So I probably qualify for Mensa.
- If I were a bird, I already know who I’d poop on.
- My bank account is more like a countdown to homelessness.
- Rap is all about poor people bragging about being rich, while country is rich people bragging about being poor.
- *wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
- If I ever lose my pinky finger, when children ask what happened I’m going to tell them that I broke a promise.
- When Apple Watch OS 2 comes out, the phrase “My watch is slow” will forever change meaning.
- “Don’t be shy!” ..
Thanks, you cured me
- A wife is like a hand grenade. Remove the ring and your house is gone.
- Who else has taken 2+ years of a foreign language and still has no clue how to speak it…
- Keeping my mouth shut was my greatest accomplishment today.
- Life is too short for fake butter, cheese or people.
- Being tired is just part of my personality.
Save the Whales..
Dolphin Meets Cat..
Cat Boops. Dolphin carefully examines cat trying to find out why he’s such a jerk.
Lots more status updates, funny pictures, and video, on our Fan Page.