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Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
- When someone says, “Expect the unexpected,” I like to punch them in the face to express my disagreement. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
Mondays aren’t so bad…it’s my job that sucks.
Don’t think of yourself as a failure, think of yourself as unspoiled by success.
- The grown up version of Tetris is loading a full dishwasher.
Just saw a guy using a payphone. I can only assume he’s being told where to deliver the ransom money
I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you!!
- 92 percent of Americans get inappropriately excited when there’s a t-shirt cannon present.
Some guy just gave me half of a peace sign. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page , 99+ LIKES in 10 minutes)
Hard work never killed anybody, but it does keep you off Facebook.
Some guy waved to me and then walked up and said, “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.” I said, “I am.”
The first step is admitting you’re a problem.
- If anyone catches me singing in my car, my immediate reaction is to stare at them until it is equally awkward for both of us.
- It’s cool…I don’t care, you don’t have to LIKE me…..I’m not a FACEBOOK STATUS!
- By the time things get in my price range they’re labeled antiques and the price goes up again.
- Born free. Now, I’m expensive.
- To err is human, to forgive is divine. In other words, the forgiving is somebody else’s job.
It’s okay to be ugly…but aren’t you overdoing it?
Anything in parenthesis can (not) be ignored. (Our Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
- If lemons hand you life, you’re probably dyslexic.
Thousands More Funny Status Updates…
Ridiculously Happy Puppy…
If that doesn’t brighten your day than I don’t know what will! Bring some joy to your FB Friends lives and share that pic.
2 Asian Babies Dancing to Outkast:
Post that one to your Facebook wall and you’ll get tons of comments & likes!
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