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Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
- When someone says, “Expect the unexpected,” I like to punch them in the face to express my disagreement. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
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Mondays aren’t so bad…it’s my job that sucks.
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Don’t think of yourself as a failure, think of yourself as unspoiled by success.
- The grown up version of Tetris is loading a full dishwasher.
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Just saw a guy using a payphone. I can only assume he’s being told where to deliver the ransom money
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I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you!!
- 92 percent of Americans get inappropriately excited when there’s a t-shirt cannon present.
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Some guy just gave me half of a peace sign. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page , 99+ LIKES in 10 minutes)
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Hard work never killed anybody, but it does keep you off Facebook.
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Some guy waved to me and then walked up and said, “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.” I said, “I am.”
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The first step is admitting you’re a problem.
- If anyone catches me singing in my car, my immediate reaction is to stare at them until it is equally awkward for both of us.
- It’s cool…I don’t care, you don’t have to LIKE me…..I’m not a FACEBOOK STATUS!
- By the time things get in my price range they’re labeled antiques and the price goes up again.
- Born free. Now, I’m expensive.
- To err is human, to forgive is divine. In other words, the forgiving is somebody else’s job.
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It’s okay to be ugly…but aren’t you overdoing it?
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Anything in parenthesis can (not) be ignored. (Our Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
- If lemons hand you life, you’re probably dyslexic.
Thousands More Funny Status Updates…
Ridiculously Happy Puppy…
If that doesn’t brighten your day than I don’t know what will! Bring some joy to your FB Friends lives and share that pic.
2 Asian Babies Dancing to Outkast:
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgVNqK6DOYI[/youtube]
Post that one to your Facebook wall and you’ll get tons of comments & likes!
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