Beyonce Photobomb, Emotional Baby, and Status Gratification

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The Top 20 Facebook Statuses from Today:

  1. Even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward.
  2. If I had the money I’d hire 2 private investigators to follow each other
  3. Turns out people can still hear you even if you’re wearing sunglasses.
  4. My purchase of a money management iPhone app actually overdrew my bank account. So it obviously doesn’t work!
  5. Music speaks the words I can’t.
  6. I’m putting more thought into my Halloween costume than into my job.
  7. Chocolate comes from Cocoa, which is a tree. That makes cocoa a plant….chocolate is a salad.
  8. Life before the computer: Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider’s home. A virus was the flu. A CD was a bank account. A hard drive was a long trip on the road. A mouse pad was where a mouse lived. And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy…you just hoped nobody found out.
  9. Want your favorite song to become your least favorite song? Just make it your alarm tune.
  10. Having it all together is not my style.
  11. Facebook needs to add “still banging my ex” as a relationship status option.
  12. Can’t we all just agree to wear fragrances without trying to be a room freshener?
  13. Party like you will never be invited to another!
  14. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
  15. I wish out of sight out of mind applied to bills.
  16. Why do people always say “No way I’m doing this,” right as they are getting ready to do the thing they don’t want to do?
  17. Halloween really is the perfect time to get rid of all those Chinese food condiment packets.
  18. Women aren’t that complicated. They just want an honest and genuine guy who will give them insincere compliments they might not deserve.
  19. Let’s have a moment of silence for all these guys that tried to walk across power lines but fell because someone tied their shoes together.
  20. FACT: Candy corn is made out of melted down traffic cones.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

EPIC PhotoBomb by Beyonce…

Photobombed by Beyonce

Well played, Beyonce! Now everyone is going to be taking Selfies at your next concert ūüôā

Emotional Baby Reacts to Mom’s singing…


OMG! Melted my heart. Please share if you loved it!

Lots of statuses, funny pics, & videos‚Ķ On our¬†Fan Page¬†&¬†Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Check back tomorrow for our annual HALLOWEEN SPOOKSTATUS – the best status updates for Halloween ūüėČ