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The Top 20 Facebook Statuses from Today:
- Even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward.
- If I had the money I’d hire 2 private investigators to follow each other
- Turns out people can still hear you even if you’re wearing sunglasses.
- My purchase of a money management iPhone app actually overdrew my bank account. So it obviously doesn’t work!
- Music speaks the words I can’t.
- I’m putting more thought into my Halloween costume than into my job.
- Chocolate comes from Cocoa, which is a tree. That makes cocoa a plant….chocolate is a salad.
- Life before the computer: Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider’s home. A virus was the flu. A CD was a bank account. A hard drive was a long trip on the road. A mouse pad was where a mouse lived. And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy…you just hoped nobody found out.
- Want your favorite song to become your least favorite song? Just make it your alarm tune.
- Having it all together is not my style.
- Facebook needs to add “still banging my ex” as a relationship status option.
- Can’t we all just agree to wear fragrances without trying to be a room freshener?
- Party like you will never be invited to another!
- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
- I wish out of sight out of mind applied to bills.
- Why do people always say “No way I’m doing this,” right as they are getting ready to do the thing they don’t want to do?
- Halloween really is the perfect time to get rid of all those Chinese food condiment packets.
- Women aren’t that complicated. They just want an honest and genuine guy who will give them insincere compliments they might not deserve.
- Let’s have a moment of silence for all these guys that tried to walk across power lines but fell because someone tied their shoes together.
- FACT: Candy corn is made out of melted down traffic cones.
EPIC PhotoBomb by Beyonce…
Well played, Beyonce! Now everyone is going to be taking Selfies at your next concert 🙂
Emotional Baby Reacts to Mom’s singing…
OMG! Melted my heart. Please share if you loved it!