Get more likes, share these… 20 Priceless Facebook Status Posts: Doctors and scientists agree on the benefits of an afternoon nap, yet still my boss thinks he knows better. Ridiculous. I need a 6-month vacation…twice a year. I don’t care if it’s 4 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up. Hard work […]
Facebook Status Updates
Barking Cat, Like Yourself, and Witty Statuses
Score more likes, share these… Top 20 Witty Facebook Statuses I’ll need a weekend to recover from this weekend. When you eat cereal, the cereal box automatically becomes interesting. I’m not slurring my words, I’m speaking in cursive. The first guy who made fire by rubbing two sticks together probably did a lot of other […]
Dem Eyes, Hold My Hand, & Weekend Status Updates
Make the weekend last, share these… Top 20 Status Updates for the Weekend: How to sleep faster: Decorate your bedroom to look like a classroom. Don’t let little, stupid things break your happiness. I’m proficient in 3 languages: English, Profanity, and Sarcasm. That awkward moment when you’re trying not to look when someone is staring […]
Best Friends, Guiltiest Walk Ever, & Witty Statuses
Score more likes, share these… Witty Facebook Statuses: You call it “Road Rage”, but I call it “Aggressively maneuvering around idiots who don’t know how to drive”. Self-control is saying “that’s enough episodes for tonight.” Looking at you… Netflix! I can be a pretty big asshole when I’m hungry. You never know how dirty a […]
Godfather KittEh, Golden Guitar, and 20 Entertaining Facebook Statuses
Get over hump day, share these… Top 20 Entertaining Facebook Statuses: I’m so in Debt, I could start a Government. I go deaf when I’m texting. What if dreams are just glimpses of alternate universes? When I go to bed, half the time I’m not really sleeping. I’m usually lying there making up scenarios in […]
Butterfly Dog, Coffee Shop Prank, & Ridiculous Status Posts
Step your status game up, share these… 20 Ridiculous Facebook Posts: Government shutdown day 8: Electricity still works. Water is still running. No cool gangs to join yet. Worst apocalypse ever. That awkward moment when everything is silent and your phone goes off. Just keep scrolling. Got nothing. It’s called sarcasm, and it confuses stupid […]