Barking Cat, Like Yourself, and Witty Statuses

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Top 20 Witty Facebook Statuses

  1. I’ll need a weekend to recover from this weekend.
  2. When you eat cereal, the cereal box automatically becomes interesting.
  3. I’m not slurring my words, I’m speaking in cursive.
  4. The first guy who made fire by rubbing two sticks together probably did a lot of other weird stuff.
  5. Experience is not what happens to you; it’s what you do with what happens to you.
  6. Call me old school, but I think your shorts should be longer than your private parts.
  7. It isn’t that I’m not a people person…it’s just that I’m not a stupid people person.
  8. Life would be so much better if there were Piñatas strategically placed throughout my day.
  9. A true “Race Against Time” is flushing while you pee.
  10. Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will fix it. Stop reminding us every 6 months.
  11. Everything is going to be alright, maybe not today, but eventually.
  12. Marriage is something you should pay for and divorce should be free. You might think twice before buying into it.
  13. Still trying to decide if “You look nice today” is a compliment, or just a way of saying that I usually look like crap.
  14. If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.
  15. Couldn’t stay awake sitting on the couch, so I laid down in bed to make sure I wouldn’t fall asleep.
  16. Monica & Chandler’s twins would be 9 this year, Pheobe’s triplets 14, Ben 18, and Emma 11. Let’s just take a moment to let that sink in.
  17. If you’re a sarcastic person, come sit with me because I’m one too.
  18. 2014 is in 3 months
  19. Stop editing your pics. What if you go missing? How can we find you if you look like Beyonce on Facebook, and Waka Flocka in person.
  20. If you were a cookie, you’d be a whoreo.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Go ahead & Like Yourself…

You know you want to 😛

Cat Gets Caught Barking…

It’s almost as if she realized that she’d been caught barking and switched back to meowing. Clever girl!

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