Facebook Status Updates

Killer KitteHs, Red Bull Jump POV, and Priceless Status Posts

Editorial Team

619

Get more likes, share these…

20 Priceless Facebook Status Posts:

Doctors and scientists agree on the benefits of an afternoon nap, yet still my boss thinks he knows better. Ridiculous.
I need a 6-month vacation…twice a year.
I don’t care if it’s 4 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.
Forget what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you.
I don’t care if it’s a kidnapping/murder; if you tell me a monkey will be involved, I’m 97% more likely to participate.
I can’t believe people used to have to paint selfies.
I should’ve married myself. I’ve never said no to sex. Not once. Not one single time ever.
I just found handcuffs, a whip and a mask in my girlfriend’s bedroom. I can’t believe she’s a super hero.
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.
Sometimes it’s the little things that make the biggest change.
To the world you may be just one person, but to one person…you may be holding up this entire lane of traffic.
Sorry, you’re just not my blood type.
Don’t be the girl who needs a man. Be the girl a man needs.
I don’t see the purpose of getting a tattoo of your own name, given the widespread availability of nametags.
I got to the bottom of the mountain of laundry and found my favorite sock I thought the dryer ate. Raising both fists in the air and giving a Gladiatorial roar of victory I soon discovered I washed my wallet.
I bet Waldo’s parents are worried sick.
Beautiful people are more beautiful when surrounded by ugly people
Anything not relating to elephants is irrelephant.
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.