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20 Priceless Facebook Status Posts:
- Doctors and scientists agree on the benefits of an afternoon nap, yet still my boss thinks he knows better. Ridiculous.
- I need a 6-month vacation…twice a year.
- I don’t care if it’s 4 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
- Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.
- Forget what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you.
- I don’t care if it’s a kidnapping/murder; if you tell me a monkey will be involved, I’m 97% more likely to participate.
- I can’t believe people used to have to paint selfies.
- I should’ve married myself. I’ve never said no to sex. Not once. Not one single time ever.
- I just found handcuffs, a whip and a mask in my girlfriend’s bedroom. I can’t believe she’s a super hero.
- Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.
- Sometimes it’s the little things that make the biggest change.
- To the world you may be just one person, but to one person…you may be holding up this entire lane of traffic.
- Sorry, you’re just not my blood type.
- Don’t be the girl who needs a man. Be the girl a man needs.
- I don’t see the purpose of getting a tattoo of your own name, given the widespread availability of nametags.
- I got to the bottom of the mountain of laundry and found my favorite sock I thought the dryer ate. Raising both fists in the air and giving a Gladiatorial roar of victory I soon discovered I washed my wallet.
- I bet Waldo’s parents are worried sick.
- Beautiful people are more beautiful when surrounded by ugly people
- Anything not relating to elephants is irrelephant.
- Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.
Dat Gaze Doe!
POV of the EPIC Red Bull Jump:
Extremely Awesome and breathtaking! Even made my palms a little sweaty! Share if you enjoyed 🙂