Make someones Thursday, share one of these… 20 Great Facebook Status Updates: NEW COMMANDMENT: Thou shalt not start Christmas advertising when it is still October. Shit’s spiraling out of control and I’m all like “wheeeee.” Your hair turns white when you get old for evolutionary reasons. Predators leave you alone if they think you’re a […]
Facebook Status Updates
Amazing Kid Costume, Best Friends, & Really Good Status Updates
Score more likes, share one of these… Really Good Facebook Status Updates: My talents include stress eating and falling in love with people that will never love me back. School: juggling 50 things at once until you get so exhausted physically and mentally that you give up on everything and watch TV. *passionately sings the […]
Caught in the Act, Pay Attention, and Quality Status Updates
Make someones Tuesday, share one of these… 20 Quality Facebook Status Posts from This Week: I feel like there’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a puppy, or just a burrito. Excited to go to sleep tonight. It’s not you. It’s me finally realizing that you’re terrible. I have so […]
German Shepard Dreaming, Home Alone, and Cool Status Updates
Make Monday fun, share one of these… Cool Facebook Status Updates: Running seems like a great idea until you actually start running. No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch When you need to cough in an […]
Drought My Ass, Cap Gun, and Funny Thoughts for your Status Update.
Weekends never last long enough, make someone smile – share one of these… Funny Thoughts for your Status Update: If you command me to do something that I was already planning on doing the chances of me doing that thing automatically drop to zero. Based on your eyebrows, you have no business giving anyone advice on […]
Motorcycle Bulldog Wave, Tomorrow Cancelled, and Best Status Updates
Happy Friday, make someones day share one of these… 20 Best Facebook Statuses Spotted This Week: It was only after the other brothers of The Jackson 5 refused to let him join that little Samuel L. Jackson first became angry. The main reason I watch documentaries is to have Morgan Freeman’s voice soothe me to […]