Make someones Tuesday, share one of these…
20 Quality Facebook Status Posts from This Week:
- I feel like there’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a puppy, or just a burrito.
- Excited to go to sleep tonight.
- It’s not you. It’s me finally realizing that you’re terrible.
- I have so much homework…
What movie should I watch?
- I’m equal parts sweetheart and smart ass.
- I didn’t say “what?” because I can’t hear you. I was giving you a chance to change what you said.
- Thanks for pretending not to see me while I was pretending not to see you in order to avoid a miserably awkward conversation.
- Nothing says “I’ve already given up on this day” quite like a Taco Bell breakfast.
- Why can’t the ice cream man just get a fricken’ liquor license already?
- Nothing like an episode of “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” to make you feel like a Harvard double major.
- If you love someone set them free, and then follow their life without you on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram for eternity.
- Guys, when your sitting there playing Call Of Duty, just know your girlfriends calling another guy to do your duty..
- To the woman with six screaming kids in Walmart, if you wonder how those condoms got in your cart, you’re welcome.
- If you’ve gauged huge holes in your ears and don’t keep Oreo cookies in them for snacks then what the hell’s the point man?
- The person before me got $0.57 worth of gas. My day doesn’t seem so bad now.
- I’ve come to the sad realization nobody will ever triumphantly pour Gatorade on me for any reason.
- My dog just saved my life by ferociously barking at nothing outside.
- Hey self-appointed MILFs, easy does it. We’ll let you know.
- Pick any number. Multiply it by two. Now add 12 to it. Divide it by 3. Now change it to 10. That’s how many seconds you just wasted.
- Why are you showing me pictures of your kid if you have a dog?
Man Caught Secretly Being a Fan…
That beer won’t bring back your manliness my friend.