Motorcycle Bulldog Wave, Tomorrow Cancelled, and Best Status Updates

Editorial Team

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Happy Friday, make someones day share one of these…

20 Best Facebook Statuses Spotted This Week:

It was only after the other brothers of The Jackson 5 refused to let him join that little Samuel L. Jackson first became angry.
The main reason I watch documentaries is to have Morgan Freeman’s voice soothe me to sleep.
I should really stop developing crushes on people I can’t touch.
Can I have a free unlimited day trial of being attractive?
Study. Take the test. Pass. Forget everything. College in a nutshell.
I don’t believe in getting up in the morning. It’s against my religion.
I’ve learned to use meditation to handle stress. Just kidding, I’m on my third glass of wine.
You know you’re desperate for chocolate when you raid your baking supplies for chocolate chips.
I’m surprised as everyone else is by what comes out of my mouth.
No, you can’t have a bite.
I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22! Unless is past 10pm, then I’m more like 28-30.
Kinda hard to respect the Hamburglar when, with just a tiny bit more effort, he could be a Cheeseburglar.
“Are you completely sure this isn’t textable?” -the perfect voicemail prompt.
Ladies- it’s important to have a man that: 1) Rocks in bed 2) Buys you stuff 3) Compliments you 4) The above 3 men don’t know each other.
I’m starting to think I’ll never be old enough to know better.”
Don’t ask me again” is my favorite computer button that I wish was also a real life button.
Guys: Bet a female friend that she can’t touch her bellybutton with both elbows. Enjoy the view.
I bet the frankincense guy was all like, “Let’s put the three items in one gift basket and the basket can be from all of us.”
I don’t care if we don’t talk, your existence still pisses me off.
Just once I’d like to see someone dropkick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter.