Be interesting, share these… 20 Likeable Facebook Statuses: Am I the only one who closes the silverware drawer with an epic pelvic thrust? My bed is good for sleeping and great for helping me remember everything I was supposed to do. Some people’s lack of swearing makes me uncomfortable. My friend had bad luck with […]
Surprise Friend, Roar Inspiration, & Crazy Status Posts
Score more likes, share these… Crazy Facebook Status Posts: Being an adult is dumb. Sorry I can’t make it to your party tonight- I have to get up REALLY early tomorrow afternoon. About 110,000 people contract chlamydia each month, more than signed up for Obamacare. Obamacare is less popular than chlamydia. Me everyday: today is […]
KittEhh Warmer, Puddle Jumping, and Top Facebook Statuses
Make your weekend last longer, share these… Top 20 Status Selections from this week on FB: PS4? Pshhhhh…. When I was a kid I had to blow into my video games to get them to work. Pandora has taught me that a lot of the music I love is very similar to music I absolutely […]
Unimpressed Puppy, Terrible Toaster, and Uplifting Status Posts
Score more likes, share these… Uplifting & Hilarious Status Posts: FYI: Real hippos at the zoo don’t eat marbles. They should post a sign or something. That was actually pretty funny. But, I don’t like you. Therefore, I will not laugh. Bacon is like a high-five for your mouth. When life gives you lemons, make […]
Sad Cat Diaries, Splitting Legos, & Silly Statuses
Step your Status game up, share these… Silly Statuses: I would like to publicly apologize to anyone I have NOT offended…I will get to you shortly. Laughter is the best medicine…unless you have diarrhea. Asking how my work day went is like asking how a drive-by-shooting went…I’m just lucky I got out alive. Guys just […]
Onesie Puppy, Goat Gruff, & ROFL Statuses
Score more likes, share these… ROFL Status Updates: Your best friend is someone who you can have a conversation with through facial expressions alone. I hate it when people tell me I look young for my age because it implies my age is old. The best government job has to be assigning names to secret […]