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Funny Status Updates:

  • ❒ Single ❒ Taken ✔ NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS! (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • All you need is a sick mind and a healthy body.
  • I do have washboard abs. They just happen to have a little laundry on them at the moment.
  • Facebook is still the best way to keep in touch with people you don’t want to keep in touch with.
  • You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You’re gonna learn a lot today.
  • I don’t remember the words “anything you say can and will be used against you” in my marriage vows. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page , 100+ LIKES in 20 minutes)
  • I think Facebook needs a “NOBODY CARES’ button below the status update.
  • Attn Coors Light… Please stop advertising how cold your beers are, that is not caused by some magic voodoo you do, it is caused by whether or not I remember to put them in a refridgerator.
  • I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
  • Sometimes I like to leave seafood restaurants clutching my stomach and whisper “Don’t order the fish,” to people waiting for tables.
  • You unlike ur friends status b/c u get tired of the notifications popping up every time someone comments on their status.
  • SCARY BUT TRUE: statistics show that everyone who’s ever used a cell phone will die
  • If rabbits feet are so lucky…what happened to the rabbit? (Our Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
  • A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.

Thousands More Funny Status Updates…

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LOL, that one will get you a ton of comments/likes on FB.

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