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Funny Status Updates:
❒ Single ❒ Taken ✔ NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS! (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
All you need is a sick mind and a healthy body.
I do have washboard abs. They just happen to have a little laundry on them at the moment.
- Facebook is still the best way to keep in touch with people you don’t want to keep in touch with.
You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You’re gonna learn a lot today.
I don’t remember the words “anything you say can and will be used against you” in my marriage vows. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page , 100+ LIKES in 20 minutes)
I think Facebook needs a “NOBODY CARES’ button below the status update.
- Attn Coors Light… Please stop advertising how cold your beers are, that is not caused by some magic voodoo you do, it is caused by whether or not I remember to put them in a refridgerator.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
- Sometimes I like to leave seafood restaurants clutching my stomach and whisper “Don’t order the fish,” to people waiting for tables.
You unlike ur friends status b/c u get tired of the notifications popping up every time someone comments on their status.
- SCARY BUT TRUE: statistics show that everyone who’s ever used a cell phone will die
If rabbits feet are so lucky…what happened to the rabbit? (Our Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.
Thousands More Funny Status Updates…
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LOL, that one will get you a ton of comments/likes on FB.
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