Share a smile, post one of these…
20 Epic Facebook Status Updates:
- I just need, like, 5 more hours of sleep.
- Roughly 40% of my childhood was spent preparing for the day I would fall into a pit of quicksand.
- If anxiety burned calories, I’d be a super model.
- I have to sleep with a blanket, no matter how hot my room is.
- Keep your friends close…keep tacos even closer.
- There’s a huge difference when a guy and girl says “I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie.”
- I talk to my dog more than I talk to humans.
- The awkward moment when you’re not sure if something is your actual memory or if your brain made it up.
- I have never forgotten to eat.
- There’s one energy source we’ll never run out of: the anger of men under 5’7″.
- Opposites attract, that’s the trouble with being awesome.
- You had me at 0 mutual friends.
- Fear the man wearing velcro strapped sandals, for he has nothing left to lose.
- How easily you’re offended is directly proportional to how dumb you are.
- I could actually watch golf on TV if Land Mines were involved.
- Knock Knock. Who’s there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.
- Relationship status: sleeping in my bed diagonally.
- If a man says you’re ugly he’s being mean. If a woman says you’re ugly she’s envious. If a little kid says you’re ugly, you’re ugly.
- Good things come to those who wait. Better things come if you stop f*cking around and make shit happen.
- In grade school it’s called bullying but when you get older it’s referred to as upper level management.
Funny Pics | Gifs | Videos | Yesterdays Status Updates
Pretty much every-time I cook Pasta..
Every. Damn. Time.
How to open 5 beers at once..
Very impressive!
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