Ultimate Drone Save, Police Dogs, & Top 20 Weekend Statuses

Make your weekend last longer, share one of these…

Top 20 Weekend Statuses:

  1. I’ve robbed banks before…and they’re never getting their pens back.
  2. Why are you showing me pictures of your kid if you have a dog?
  3. People with no money sure do have a lot of pot.
  4. Where there are pants, There is sadness.
  5. I think abs are for guys that don’t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.
  6. When I think of all the money I’ve spent on booze in my life, I wish I had it all back. Imagine all the booze I could buy!
  7. At any given time my wallet is worth more than its contents.
  8. Don’t text and drive. Just pull over until you’re done using your phone. That’s what I do. I’ve been on the side of the road since 2014.
  9. Perfect relationships exist in thoughts, movies, and Facebook timelines.
  10. I am not cut out for the CIA. All the opposing side would have to do is tickle me and I’d spill all our nation’s secrets.
  11. Did any one else get cat-fished by taco bells breakfast?
  12. Fireworks are illegal here so all my family can play with tonight are lame old sparklers and high powered semi-automatic assault rifles.
  13. If you zoom into the background on your selfies you can see your dignity disappearing into the distance.
  14. My gf won’t get the remote that’s in the other room, but if my wallet was at the bottom of an ocean she’d be shopping already.
  15. Pick any number. Multiply it by two. Now add 12 to it. Divide it by 3. Now change it to 10. That’s how many seconds you just wasted.
  16. I would rather raise a daughter who became a stripper than a contestant on The Bachelor.
  17. When Mike Tyson says “Bithneth”…… You know he really means business.
  18. My Girlfriend wrote an email to me saying she was concerned that we have communications issues. I immediately sent an IM asking her to clarify. She messaged me on Facebook saying not to worry but that sometimes we’re not as connected as she’d like. I tweeted her that I love her more than anything. She texted me that she loves me too and was tired after a long day of work. So I leaned over and kissed her good night.
  19. I’d steal a doughnut truck and attempt to outrun the cops, just to let people see a bunch of cops chasing a doughnut truck!
  20. “Make it rain” is the only appropriate response when asked if you want freshly grated parmesan.

Witty Status | Fan Page

Ultimate Drone Save..


Guy runs from a mile away to save his drone right before it sinks into the ocean and does it with style. This. I like this.

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our Free iPhone App. We’ll see you on Monday for more funny Facebook Status Updates.