Make someones day, share one of these…
20 Topical Status Updates:
- Guys, hear me out on this one.. A zombie outbreak could be prevented altogether if people were buried with their shoe laces tied together. Boom, you’re welcome.
- It’s hard to win an argument with a smart person, but it’s damn near impossible to win an argument with a stupid person.
- I don’t understand how people have to “get ready for bed”…I’m always ready for bed.
- The NSA is the only part of our government that listens to us.
- If men could get pregnant, paid maternity leave would be in the Constitution.
- Girls with tattoos on your boobs, Why? We’re already looking at them.
- Don’t be sad, laundry. Nobody’s doing me either.
- person: How’s school going?
me: Good. Sometimes I get the overwhelming desire to eat glass but it usually passes without incident - I don’t need a stable relationship, all I need is a stable internet connection.
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You can’t please everyone. You’re not a glazed donut.
- I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.
- Me? Weird? B*tch please, I’m limited edition.
-
The police need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don’t want to see a band called “Parking Violation” at the “LA Superior Court.”
- Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?
- I’m the type of person who tries to fall back asleep in the morning, just to finish a dream.
- Sometimes I feel like I have my life together and then I’m like
wow
that was a really nice 45 seconds - Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house.
- Facebook game requests are like the Jehovah’s Witnesses of the Internet world.
- When the volume of the pans clanging in the kitchen changes. I can tell I’m supposed to go volunteer to help with something.
- I have two moods:
1) sleep is for the weak
2) sleeping for the week
Funny Pics | Gifs | Videos | Yesterdays Status Updates
How single are you?
That explains my situation!
The Adorable Candy Thief..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOS4V7nQxT8
An honest thief, that’s new!
Lots more status updates, funny pictures, and video, on our Fan Page.
