Post these on your Facebook Wall…
Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
- Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
- I always say the things better left unsaid.
The only man who doesn’t reap what he sows is the amateur gardener.
- I want to be elected president, learn the truth about aliens, and then resign.
- You don’t even know how many public pools you can get into for free with a bunch of sunblock on your nose and a whistle.
- The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down & you don’t know whether to tell, because you can’t explain why you were looking that low.
- Have you ever noticed how funny observational humor is?
- Solution to world hunger: food. Boom, done, next problem.
- Now my friends all hate me because I’ve been keeping my enemies closer.
- I know my limits. I don’t pay any attention to them, but I know them. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
- Is it too much to hope that my good cholesterol will be a positive influence on my bad cholesterol.
- My private health insurance really needs to start covering retail therapy.
- I have a love/hate relationship with mood swings.
- If you can’t afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don’t know where you are!
- I make a mean cup of coffee. This one just told me I’ll never find love.
If you’re cooking alphabet soup on the stove and leave it unattended, it could spell disaster. (From our Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
- Has anyone even thought to look in San Diego for Carmen Sandiego? Think about it, it’s a little *too* obvious. Which means it’s perfect.
Thousands More Funny Status Updates…
Yoda Dog to the rescue:
Do or do not, there is no try.
Jackie Chan teaches a fish to roll-over:
Post that one on your wall and get tons of comments/likes from your FB Friends.
Want more funny status updates, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Visit our awesome *NEW* Funny Status section for thousands of Facebook statuses to choose from!