Yoda Dog, Jackie Chan Trains Fish, & Funny Statuses

Post these on your Facebook Wall…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  • Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • I always say the things better left unsaid.
  • The only man who doesn’t reap what he sows is the amateur gardener.
  • I want to be elected president, learn the truth about aliens, and then resign.
  • You don’t even know how many public pools you can get into for free with a bunch of sunblock on your nose and a whistle.
  • The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down & you don’t know whether to tell, because you can’t explain why you were looking that low.
  • Have you ever noticed how funny observational humor is?
  • Solution to world hunger: food. Boom, done, next problem.
  • Now my friends all hate me because I’ve been keeping my enemies closer.
  • I know my limits. I don’t pay any attention to them, but I know them. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • Is it too much to hope that my good cholesterol will be a positive influence on my bad cholesterol.
  • My private health insurance really needs to start covering retail therapy.
  • I have a love/hate relationship with mood swings.
  • If you can’t afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don’t know where you are!
  • I make a mean cup of coffee. This one just told me I’ll never find love.
  • If you’re cooking alphabet soup on the stove and leave it unattended, it could spell disaster. (From our Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
  • Has anyone even thought to look in San Diego for Carmen Sandiego? Think about it, it’s a little *too* obvious. Which means it’s perfect.

Thousands More Funny Status Updates…

Yoda Dog to the rescue:

Yoda Dog

Do or do not, there is no try.

Jackie Chan teaches a fish to roll-over:

Post that one on your wall and get tons of comments/likes from your FB Friends.

Want more funny status updates, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Visit our awesome *NEW* Funny Status section for thousands of Facebook statuses to choose from!