Score more likes, share these…
Top 25 Facebook Statuses this week:
- It’s ironic that we call it “common” sense when there seems to be such a lack of it.
- Whenever I feel intimidated by someone I imagine them drinking out of a hamster water bottle.
- 3 things I’ve learned in school: Texting without looking, Sleeping without getting caught, TEAMWORK on tests
- I forgot to tell you guys I’m at the gym so if you need to get ahold of me I’ll be at the gym and I’ll talk to you after I leave the gym.
- Can I just drop it like it’s luke warm? It’s been a long day and I’m tired.
- To make a long story short, I walk away.
- You know what sucks? Overtime when you’re on salary.
- Life would be so much easier if I just had a helicopter.
- Everyone is fighting their own battle, to be free from their past, to live in their present and to create their future.
- I hate people who buy gym memberships just to walk on a treadmill. WALKING IS FREE.
- I spend more time looking in the fridge than I actually do eating.
- Dear Raisin Bran: Two scoops my ass.
- A police officer came up to me yesterday and said, “Where were you between four and six?” I said, “Kindergarten.”
- This morning I woke up on the right side of the wrong bed.
- I always feel like such a jerk texting “Who is this?” so I usually don’t know who I’m talking to.
- That awkward moment when you sleep over at a friends and wake up before they do and all you can do is stare at the ceiling.
- Men are all the same. they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
- Apparently the bigger the diamond the more you love your wife, or the more you cheat on her, whichever.
- I put my welcome mat on the inside of my house so the world doesn’t seem so scary when I leave.
- Life is so much easier with a sense of humor.
- The lesson is in the struggle, not the victory.
- Can pregnant people use the car pool lane?
- Are you free tomorrow? “Nah I’m pretty expensive!”
- The fastest way to grab someones attention is to no longer want it.
- I finally figured out where all my weight is coming from! My shampoo, which runs down my body as I rinse my hair, advertises greater volume and body. Think I’ll start washing my hair with dishwashing soap; it says it dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove.
Heart Shaped Kitty Nose:
Dawwwww, that’s adorable 🙂 Must share that cute nosed kitty! (source: imgur)
Yelling Goat vs. Kanye West:
LOL! The Goat just goes so naturally with the song. It’s a match made in goat heaven.