Yelling Goat, Heart Kitty, and Top Statuses

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Top 25 Facebook Statuses this week:

  1. It’s ironic that we call it “common” sense when there seems to be such a lack of it.
  2. Whenever I feel intimidated by someone I imagine them drinking out of a hamster water bottle.
  3. 3 things I’ve learned in school: Texting without looking, Sleeping without getting caught, TEAMWORK on tests
  4. I forgot to tell you guys I’m at the gym so if you need to get ahold of me I’ll be at the gym and I’ll talk to you after I leave the gym.
  5. Can I just drop it like it’s luke warm? It’s been a long day and I’m tired.
  6. To make a long story short, I walk away.
  7. You know what sucks? Overtime when you’re on salary.
  8. Life would be so much easier if I just had a helicopter.
  9. Everyone is fighting their own battle, to be free from their past, to live in their present and to create their future.
  10. I hate people who buy gym memberships just to walk on a treadmill. WALKING IS FREE.
  11. I spend more time looking in the fridge than I actually do eating.
  12. Dear Raisin Bran: Two scoops my ass.
  13. A police officer came up to me yesterday and said, “Where were you between four and six?” I said, “Kindergarten.”
  14. This morning I woke up on the right side of the wrong bed.
  15. I always feel like such a jerk texting “Who is this?” so I usually don’t know who I’m talking to.
  16. That awkward moment when you sleep over at a friends and wake up before they do and all you can do is stare at the ceiling.
  17. Men are all the same. they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
  18. Apparently the bigger the diamond the more you love your wife, or the more you cheat on her, whichever.
  19. I put my welcome mat on the inside of my house so the world doesn’t seem so scary when I leave.
  20. Life is so much easier with a sense of humor.
  21. The lesson is in the struggle, not the victory.
  22. Can pregnant people use the car pool lane?
  23. Are you free tomorrow? “Nah I’m pretty expensive!”
  24. The fastest way to grab someones attention is to no longer want it.
  25. I finally figured out where all my weight is coming from! My shampoo, which runs down my body as I rinse my hair, advertises greater volume and body. Think I’ll start washing my hair with dishwashing soap; it says it dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

Heart Shaped Kitty Nose:

Heart Shaped Kitty Nose

Dawwwww, that’s adorable 🙂 Must share that cute nosed kitty! (source: imgur)

Yelling Goat vs. Kanye West:

LOL! The Goat just goes so naturally with the song. It’s a match made in goat heaven.

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