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20 Relevant Facebook Statuses:
- I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I honestly thought you already knew.
- If success seems unlikely, that should be your reason to push even harder.
- People are not mirrors, They see you completely differently than the way you see yourself.
- Meeting a blind date at Starbucks. She said shell be wearing Uggs, a NorthFace Jacket, and yoga pants. I got her narrowed down to 47 girls.
- Life would be better if more things were wrapped in bacon.
- My boss wants me to keep my headphones volume low enough to hear my work phone ring AND stay awake at my desk like some kind of wizard.
- Look down at your speedometer and ask yourself, is this the right lane for you?
- I don’t know who invented Nutella, but I’m going to assume they went to Hogwart’s.
- Life is a delicate balance between loneliness and wishing people would just leave you alone.
- Time to buy a new car, a bigger TV, a better cell phone and a faster laptop so I’ll finally be happy! (Repeat over and over until you die)
- You don’t want to look back on your life and say “I just made it through”.
- Do you ever just want to pack up and leave out of the blue without saying anything to anyone like just leave and start a new life?
- That awkward moment when you don’t know what to do with your life when you leave the computer, so you just get back on.
- I just awesomed all over the place.
- Before setting out to live by non-violent principles, just remember that Buddhist monks also invented kung-fu.
- If you’re in a relationship for sex it’s like buying an airplane for the peanuts.
- I got sent out of class once at school.The teacher yelled at me, “What would your parents say if I called them?’ I replied, “Hello?”
- What if you woke up with amnesia & all you could remember was your Facebook password and you had to discover who u were based off your statuses?
- Chapstick, bobby pins & hair ties are by far the hardest things to keep up with.
- I wish people were like money, so you could hold them up to the light to see which ones are real and which ones are fake.
Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers
Top Secret:
Office Humor, the most underrated of all humors.
Speed Watermelon Slicing:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FN4PF4ulNpk[/youtube]
That guy is good! He’s got a future in speed watermelon slicing or fruit ninja. If you enjoyed this video share or like the post!
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So I bring my new girlfriend khaleesi in to the office and my Boss said something stupid to me and she replies replies “Drakaris” Yep she’s a Keeper 🙂
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