Talking Parakeet, Crazy Sloth, and Great Status Posts

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Great Facebook Status Update Posts:

  1. If Starbucks delivered, I would be a morning person.
  2. I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
  3. I wish some people could actually see their personality when they look in a mirror.
  4. You may have a hot body but I have a hot bucket of fried chicken so who’s the real winner here.
  5. Normal people: I like everyone unless you give me a reason not to.
    Me: I hate everyone unless you give me a reason not to.
  6. I would eat a lot more salads if they were made out of pizza.
  7. I hate being tickled, I do not think it is cute, I do not find it funny, I will kick you in the face.
  8. If Eve sacraficed the whole human race for Apple, I wonder what she would have done for a Klondike Bar?
  9. That awkward moment when you don’t know how to smile when someone is taking a picture.
  10. If it hurts when you pee, urine trouble.
  11. Word of Advice: In life, you have 3 choices: you can watch things happen, make things happen, or wonder what the hell happened.
  12. An awkward morning beats a boring night.
  13. If they treats you like an option, leave them like a choice.
  14. A good way to tell how crazy a girl is, is by counting the number of selfie profile photos she has.
  15. Things I’m bad at: singing
    Things I do a lot: sing
  16. That awkward moment when you walk pass someone wearing exactly the same shirt as you are.
  17. You never really know someone until you talk to them at 4 am.
  18. My mom likes to play this game called yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can’t hear her.
  19. I really hate saying sorry. But when I do, I honestly do mean it.
  20. I like how on my birthday I get presents & money, I get paid for being born, I get paid, for living it’s like being Kim Kardashian for a day.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

Crazy Little Sloth:

Crazy Little Sloth

DAT Glance! Piercing 🙂 It’s like he can see your soul.

This Parakeet has a mind of his own…

Disco FTW! That little guy is awesome 🙂 It’s great how he pieces together his own phrases!

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Check back on Monday for more funny status updates!