Make your weekend last, share these…
20 Brainy Status Updates for Facebook:
- Be nice to your neighbors. They’re the only ones who’ll know the difference between your good scream and your bad scream.
- Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs.”
- I challenge you to name a more frightening experience than seeing a police car make a u-turn behind you.
- Laughing at your mistakes can lengthen your life. Laughing at your wife’s can shorten it.
- My iPhone autocorrected “wish you were here” to “wish you were beer” and I sent it anyways.
- We all feel much worse for the homeless guy’s dog than we do for the homeless guy, don’t we?
- I say ouch before I’m even sure I’m hurt, just to be safe.
- If your apartment is hit by a dolphin don’t go outside to see if the dolphin is OK….. that’s how the hurricane tricks you in to coming outside!
- I automatically trust anyone who starts a sentence with, “If my calculations are correct…”
- It’s all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.
- The most polite way to tell someone you think they look bad is to ask if they are sick.
- “That guy is such a douchebag! Is he single? Maybe I can fix him!” – women
- Facebook: All the people you didn’t like from high school- now with pictures of their kids!
- If A-B-C-D didn’t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to be so rushed.
- Everybody deserves someone who makes them look forward to tomorrow.
- He already ruined your mascara, don’t let him ruin your night.
- Damn…I’m having an out of money experience…
- You’re not living life right if you don’t get just a little bit nervous every time you hear a police siren.
- OMG…!!! I was in the public restroom – I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall: “Hi, how are you?” Me: ” (embarrassed, “Doin’ fine!” Stall: “So, what are you up to?” Me: “Uhhh, I’m like you, just sitting here.” Stall: “Can I come over?” Me: (attitude) “Are you F-ing serious!!!!!!” Stall: “Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There ‘s an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions”
- If I ever end up missing, please put my picture on a bottle of whiskey and not a milk carton, because I want fun people to find me.
The Literally “ROFL” Bear:
Obviously he must have visited our Fan Page. It’s guaranteed ROFL’s all day long 🙂 You never know when the good ones will hit your news feed!
Epic Reaction to Nintendo 64:
A fitting tribute to a phenomenal piece of video game history. Share with your Facebook friends for insta-LIKEs.