Make your weekend last longer, share one of these..
20 Really Funny Facebook Statuses:
- That first kiss in the morning is so special, and the dog enjoys it too.
- I’ve never been closer to murder than when someone is talking during my favorite show.
- Do you ever look at your pet and your heart physically hurts cause you love them so much.
- Boom, crash, the sound of my grades.
- Why do I wake up tired and go to bed wide awake?
- I don’t know what I’d do without coffee. Probably 25 to life in the state penitentiary.
- Narcissism is such an unattractive quality. It looks good on me, though.
- Moms are like therapists who don’t care if you don’t have insurance.
- That awkward moment when you’re trying to be totally serious but something makes you laugh.
- If nothing else, love is nice because it confirms that you do not hate everyone. Just everyone minus one.
- Ever talk to someone so stupid they make you squint?
- Pro tip for picking up girls – keep your back straight and lift with your knees.
- Never call a woman crazy because she will say, “I’m not crazy!” and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
- That blinky light on each side of your car? It’s there so we all know what direction you’re gonna aim your 4,000 lb death machine. USE IT.
- I hate it when TV shows say they contain “adult situations” but then don’t show anyone going to work, paying their bills or cleaning up their kid’s vomit.
- My son asked what he should say if a bully said to give him his lunch money. I said tell him you left it on his moms nightstand.
- If I saw a ghost, I would not be scared. I’d be like “Sit your translucent ass down, I have a lot of questions!”
- I would rather have a life full of scars than one full of fear.
- I used to forget time with you. Now, I’ll just forget you with time.
- String cheese is the sexiest of the cheeses. It’s like you get to undress it.
Lion Gives a Speech:
That is the true Lion King! Such an amazing beast. Although I wouldn’t like to meet him face-to-face.
Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our Free iPhone App. We’ll see you on Monday!