Puss in Boots, Long Time No See, & Top Comedy StatusUpdates

This week on FB, share these…

Top 20 Comedy StatusUpdates:

1. What a lovely winter we’re having this spring.
2. Dear Women, Newsflash…MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.
3. I feel as though common sense should be referred to as the sense formerly known as common.
4. The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.
5. When I see my cat watching out the window, fascinated, I sit beside her and say, ‘Look, Simba. Everything the light touches is our kingdom.’
6. If the breakfast club took place now, all those kids would just silently texting about their shitty Saturday & never make friends w/ each other.
7. I wish more events in life involved dumping a cooler full of Gatorade on people…
8. A lie everyone tells = “Hey! I just got your text!”
9. That awkward moment when you’re answering a test question and the answer is so obvious you actually begin to doubt yourself.
10. The back of every furniture assembly manual should have a coupon for couples counseling.
11. My work here is dumb.
12. Your baby was cute until I realized you’re on the same flight as me. Now your baby is stupid.
13. I think I’m gonna take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower but with me in it.
14. Facebook asks me what I’m thinking. Twitter asks me what I’m doing. Foursquare asks me where I am. Conclusion: the internet is my girlfriend.
15. Why give second chances when there are people waiting for their first.
16. You text me, I respond in 15 seconds, then apparently you die of excitement because 2 hours later I’m still waiting for a response…
17. I’m so happy people can’t hear what I’m thinking.
18. Speak English, kiss French, drive German, dress Italian, spend Arab, party Caribbean.
19. Reasons to get out of bed: Food.
20. Best kind of laughter: Laughing so hard your laugh becomes silent.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

Dat KittEhhh

Someone get this adorable kitty some boots already 🙂

MUST SEE – DOG Goes CRAZY when his owner returns from military service:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-BnQzVUCiA[/youtube]

And, that is why Dogs are awesome!