This week on FB, share these…
Top 20 Comedy StatusUpdates:
- What a lovely winter we’re having this spring.
- Dear Women, Newsflash…MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.
- I feel as though common sense should be referred to as the sense formerly known as common.
- The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.
- When I see my cat watching out the window, fascinated, I sit beside her and say, ‘Look, Simba. Everything the light touches is our kingdom.’
- If the breakfast club took place now, all those kids would just silently texting about their shitty Saturday & never make friends w/ each other.
- I wish more events in life involved dumping a cooler full of Gatorade on people…
- A lie everyone tells = “Hey! I just got your text!”
- That awkward moment when you’re answering a test question and the answer is so obvious you actually begin to doubt yourself.
- The back of every furniture assembly manual should have a coupon for couples counseling.
- My work here is dumb.
- Your baby was cute until I realized you’re on the same flight as me. Now your baby is stupid.
- I think I’m gonna take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower but with me in it.
- Facebook asks me what I’m thinking. Twitter asks me what I’m doing. Foursquare asks me where I am. Conclusion: the internet is my girlfriend.
- Why give second chances when there are people waiting for their first.
- You text me, I respond in 15 seconds, then apparently you die of excitement because 2 hours later I’m still waiting for a response…
- I’m so happy people can’t hear what I’m thinking.
- Speak English, kiss French, drive German, dress Italian, spend Arab, party Caribbean.
- Reasons to get out of bed: Food.
- Best kind of laughter: Laughing so hard your laugh becomes silent.
Someone get this adorable kitty some boots already 🙂
MUST SEE – DOG Goes CRAZY when his owner returns from military service:
And, that is why Dogs are awesome!