Prairie Dog Puppies, Shark Swim, & Hilarious Facebook Statuses

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Hilarious Statuses for Facebook:

  1. A pretty face gets old, a nice body changes, but a good woman will always be a good woman.
  2. Next time you go on a roller coaster, take some spare bolts with you and tell the person in front of you “Dude, these came out of your…
  3. My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.
  4. We all have that one ex you don’t want the world to know you dated.
  5. You’re the last thing I see when I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I wake up… Phone, I love you.
  6. If there was a swear jar in my car, I would be broke.
  7. Our brains spend 85% of its time replaying memories and creating scenarios of perfect situations.
  8. There comes a point during checkout when the gift bag, tissue, ribbon & card all exceed 12 bucks, & I decide that IS your gift.
  9. If you get pulled over in a Smart Car for speeding, you should get a standing ovation, not a ticket.
  10. Instructions for having an adventure: 1. Stand outside restaurant. 2. Wait for someone to ask if you’re the valet. 3. Say yes.
  11. I have two feelings, it’s either “I’m hungry” or “I shouldn’t have eaten this much”
  12. The best things in life are free. The second best things are very expensive.
  13. Me: I want a hot body.
    Me: Does absolutely nothing to achieve this.
  14. Question of the day: when was the last time that you saw a music video that was relevant to the actual song?
  15. Insomnia is a glamorous term for ‘thoughts you forgot to have in the day.’
  16. Why does every wireless provider say that they have the best, fastest, most covered 4G network? Someone’s lying.
  17. I only give my pets names that would also be good passwords.
  18. My birthday suit doesn’t fit me anymore.
  19. Probably the worst thing about being a penguin is after you’re in an argument you’ll try to waddle away angrily but still look adorably cute.
  20. How many times do I have to say “excuse me” before “get the hell out of my way” becomes acceptable?

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

Prairie Dog Puppies:

Prairie Dog Puppies

The way those little Prairie Dog Puppies stand up, is just too cute! Heart meltingly cute!

Girl Swims with a Shark, without a cage (SCARY!)


Whoa, that girl is either crazy or awesome. You decide! Share or Like if you think that was nuts.

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