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Hilarious Facebook Statuses:
- Everyday I’m shoveling. – Winter 2014
- Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they’re fighting over the world’s last Oreo.
- Loofah sponge instructions: 1. Wet before use 2. Use once 3. Hang to dry as shower decoration for the rest of your life.
- Who is “Taxes” and “IRS”? Those jerks have been sending me junk mail for years.
- I’m going to keep my Facebook account but delete my real life.
- I showed my iPad to my iPhone, and he was all “what’s up fatty”.
- Moving sucks! Why hasn’t anyone invented Copy and Paste for real life?
- That fake laugh you do when you have no idea what the other person said.
- Spending half of the movie wondering where you’ve seen the actor before…
- me watching the Olympics: oh wow, that was impressive!
announcer: ANOTHER DISASTROUS MISTAKE!
- It’s time to go to bed when you type the name of the website you are already looking at into your browser.
- New idea for Mythbusters: Find an honest politician.
- Immediately like this status if you automatically restart a game when you know your gonna lose!
- That spider is more afraid of you than you are of it. Oh really did it tell you that?
- Cops never say “thanks for committing crimes and keeping us employed”. It’s just plain selfish.
- I love it when the person’s laugh is funnier than the actual joke.
- Why do we say sorry even when they bumped into us?
- LIFE INSURANCE: a contract that keeps you poor so you can die rich.
- THINK.. its not illegal yet.
- I’m sorry I offended you with my common sense.
Puppy Tries His Best to Stay Awake…
Poor little guy, just trying to show everyone how happy and cute he is 🙂 As always, please share if you enjoyed.
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