Facebook Status Updates

Monkey Fluff, Subway Orchestra, and EPIC Statuses

Editorial Team

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Easy likes, share these…

EPIC Facebook Statuses:

It’s a status….not your diary…
I don’t need to walk a mile in your shoes…I can already see you’re a train wreck from over here.
Please respect the revolving door speed that has already been established.
Maybe don’t name your musical “Rent” if you don’t even have songs that discuss real estate or leasing procedures. 0/10, very disappointing.
The richest man in the world will be the one who creates a pair of sunglasses that automatically plays a guitar solo when slightly lowered.
Wore camouflage pants once. Still can’t find my legs.
I never thought I’d be the type of person who would get up early in the morning to exercise. I was right.
When one door closes hang a “Do Not Disturb” sign on it so opportunities won’t bother you anymore.
I’m supporting our troops today by going commando.
If Welch’s is 100% Grape Juice, then why the heck do you list 4 other ingredients?
Will the machines just take over already? I’m tired of doing stuff.
Was sitting and doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
I want kids. I have chores to assign.
Even hoarders throw their chapstick away if someone else uses it.
Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ….Coincidence? I think not.
You should have to apply for a permit before you’re allowed to use the “Reply All” button.
Money may not buy you happiness, but it would make it a lot easier to not be miserable.
Scientists have yet to explain how 300 people can be working at a Wal-Mart but only 4 registers will be open.
Knowing your family so well, you can tell who’s coming down the stairs by the sound of their footsteps.
Love has 4 letters and so does food.