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Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App)
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why cant we have Starbucks trucks in the winter?
- On tv shows whenever someone gets audited, they have a box with all of their receipts. Who has a box? I don’t have a box. Should I have a box?
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
- Whoever named it ‘rain’ is an idiot. I definitely would’ve called it ‘sky water.’
Dear Black Eyed Peas: “gotta” is short for “got to,” meaning “have to,” so your song is basically “I Have to Feeling.” Please advise.
- I hate when the cops throw me in the back of the squad car like they didn’t hear me call shotgun.
- Insomnia is a glamorous term for ‘thoughts you forgot to have in the day.’
- Though Brett Favre didn’t call Aaron Rodgers to congratulate him, he did text him a photo of his junk.
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! (From the Funniest Unknown Twitter Account: @FreeFunnyStuff )
- I’d like deadlines more if they were called happy endings.
Funny Picture to Post:
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Funny Video to Post:
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