AT least one of these will make you laugh, guaranteed…
20 Silly Facebook Status Updates:
- Depresso; the feeling you get when you’ve run out of coffee.
- SCIENCE FACT if you close your eyes you won’t be able to see
- People are always much more interesting before you get to know them.
- My cat just graduated from the University of Phoenix.
- People who think I’m not a religious person should see me when the airplane starts to shake.
- Canada is located right next to the country with all the guns and bombs. Of course Canadians are polite.
- I copied my Match.com bio from a used car website. White – Good condition – Reliable – Cheap – No evidence of rear end damage. Must See.
- One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or complain. But it was a long time ago, and it was just for that one day.
- If you want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can’t buy.
- “Pay attention to me, but not too much. Ignore me, but make me feel wanted. Let me know you want me, but don’t be clingy.”-women
- Phrases I hope to avoid in my obituary: “skeletal remains,” “dumpster,” “almost beyond recognition,” “dental records” and “shallow grave.”
- IT’S A 4-WAY STOP, PEOPLE, NOT A GODDAM RUBIK’S CUBE!!
- I pledged allegiance “to the Republic for Witches Stand” until the 4th grade.
- I’m so jealous! Your swag is gonna look amazing on that McDonald’s application.
- Somewhere, a smart Lasik surgeon has an office full of brochures that are all slightly out of focus.
- If you’re having second thoughts, you’re two ahead of most people.
- I had a girlfriend that left me because I’m so arrogant. I told her to close the door on her way back in.
- When you can’t find your phone because you left it someplace stupid like in the car or your non-dominant hand.
- There’s a guy whose whole job is to find new places to hide the “close this ad” button.
- Hostage or not, sometimes it’s just nice to be held.
Testing Kitten Reflexes…