Jay Pharoah, Happy Birthday KittEhhh, and Hilarious Status Updates.

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Hilarious Facebook Status Updates:

1. My bed likes me. It doesn’t let me go in the morning.
2. I used to think i was good at multi-tasking. Turns out its just my multiple personalities doing one task at a time.
3. Gotta admire people who drive with one hand holding on to a mattress tied to the roof.
4. Being single sucks when you know exactly who you want.
5. It’s actually impossible for my room to stay clean longer than 24 hours.
6. Not really sure if I attract crazy women or if I’m attracted to crazy women.
7. Stapling water to a tree is easier than controlling your laughter at serious times.
8. When I turn 18 and my parents try to get me to do something I’ll just be like “Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf.”
9. Horror movies don’t scare me.
   5 missed calls from Mom scares me.
10. When you mess up a guy’s hair, he thinks it’s cute, but when you mess up a girl’s hair, just hope you’re wearing something bulletproof.
11. So now like 30% of our national security database is cat pictures, right?
12. I know I should be concerned about this NSA phone tapping thing, but it’s just so nice to know that someone’s been listening to me.
13. I wish I still had summers off to ride my bike, climb trees and play Super Nintendo.
14. Finding out alcohol was a depressant made me question science.
15. Every female knows that one annoying boy who constantly asks “So when we gonna chill?”
16. My most impressive magic trick is turning a bag of trail mix into a bag of raisins.
17. Long hair don’t care? More like Ratchet weave I believe.
18. Hardest thing to answer: Describe yourself.
19. We all have a friend that only gets called by their nickname.. It sounds weird to even say their real name.
20. I wonder if teachers play the “who’s a virgin” game in their heads in class.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Funny Status iOS (Just Updated)

Happy Birthday KittEhhh:

For those times on Facebook when you just don’t know what to say. Share this one 🙂

@JayPharoah Clowns on Lil Wayne:

He may be onto something. What do you think?