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Hilarious Facebook Status Updates:
- My bed likes me. It doesn’t let me go in the morning.
- I used to think i was good at multi-tasking. Turns out its just my multiple personalities doing one task at a time.
- Gotta admire people who drive with one hand holding on to a mattress tied to the roof.
- Being single sucks when you know exactly who you want.
- It’s actually impossible for my room to stay clean longer than 24 hours.
- Not really sure if I attract crazy women or if I’m attracted to crazy women.
- Stapling water to a tree is easier than controlling your laughter at serious times.
- When I turn 18 and my parents try to get me to do something I’ll just be like “Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf.”
- Horror movies don’t scare me.
5 missed calls from Mom scares me.
- When you mess up a guy’s hair, he thinks it’s cute, but when you mess up a girl’s hair, just hope you’re wearing something bulletproof.
- So now like 30% of our national security database is cat pictures, right?
- I know I should be concerned about this NSA phone tapping thing, but it’s just so nice to know that someone’s been listening to me.
- I wish I still had summers off to ride my bike, climb trees and play Super Nintendo.
- Finding out alcohol was a depressant made me question science.
- Every female knows that one annoying boy who constantly asks “So when we gonna chill?”
- My most impressive magic trick is turning a bag of trail mix into a bag of raisins.
- Long hair don’t care? More like Ratchet weave I believe.
- Hardest thing to answer: Describe yourself.
- We all have a friend that only gets called by their nickname.. It sounds weird to even say their real name.
- I wonder if teachers play the “who’s a virgin” game in their heads in class.
Happy Birthday KittEhhh:
For those times on Facebook when you just don’t know what to say. Share this one 🙂
@JayPharoah Clowns on Lil Wayne:
He may be onto something. What do you think?