Make someone smile going into the new year, share one of these…
Hilarious Facebook Status Posts:
- I will be forever in your debt if you would just loan me 1 million dollars.
- Woke up this morning and immediately started dying. #Tuesday
- I only want 2 kids and I’m done. 3 max if the 2nd one doesn’t get enough likes on Instagram.
- Just because your trashy doesn’t mean that you can’t do great things. Remember its called a garbage CAN and not a garbage can’t.
- This is the third time someone in Liam Neeson’s family has been abducted, they really need to stop leaving the house.
- That awkward moment when you hate the police, but call for their help.
- How easily you’re offended is directly proportional to how dumb you are.
- Knock Knock. Who’s there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.
- My mom just learned how to text. And her text to me said “can you hear me?”
- You’d think that with as much time as women spend looking at their ass in the mirror they would be able to reverse into a parking spot.
- Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair.
- I left my phone at home all day today. Is the sky always blue like that?
- I ran into a hot guy at the grocery store last week and he hasn’t tracked me down and proposed to me yet. This is why I hate movies.
- 2007: A phone that can replace your watch!
2015: Eff you. Back to watches again.
- Her: I just feel like I’m not being heard.
Me: Definitely. Sounds good babe.
Her: Are you even listening to me?
Me: Thats crazy!
- I’d be unstoppable if it wasn’t for law enforcement and physics.
- Is it ok to take a personal day if none of your pants fit?
- Somewhere an elderly lady reads a book on how to use the internet, while a young boy googles “how to read a book.”
- Is “drunk hobo” redundant? Are there sober hobos? Are they called “sobos”? Is this ambien ever going to kick in?
- My dinner stomach is full, but my dessert stomach still has room.
Homeless Man Gets $100, You Won’t Believe What He Does Next: [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUBTAdI7zuY[/youtube] Touching! Please like or share if you that touched your heart like it did mine.